Poop

ENNIS TOWN COUNCIL

Formation of panel of temporary Dog Wardens

Applications are invited from suitably qualified persons for inclusion on the above panel from which temporary vacancies may be filled during the life of the panel.

Applicants must:

•Demonstrate experience and expertise in the assessment of dog poop in terms of odour, viscosity, colour and overall size so as to determine which maximum fine is to be imposed.

•Have a good standard of general education including ability to converse with dogs not on leads and impose appropriate fines.

•Have a level of Irish language to be able to communicate fine to Irish-speaking dogs

•Have good mental arithmetic to be able to calculate change to be given upon payment of a fine.

•Demonstrate good levels of fitness to be able to catch and fine dogs not on leads.

Applicants should note that in the event of a large volume of applications being received, desktop short listing will take place based on the type, length and relevance of dog lead in applicant’s possession.

Completed applications must be lodged not later than 4:00 p.m. on 1st April, 2014

When recently in Ennis, I was led by a six year old to the playground but stopped to try and take in all the information on one pole in the park. I was hit with many immediate thoughts:

-          When does a pole become sensory overload with number of signs?

-          Who decides which is maximum fine?

-          That is some lead if all dogs are to be kept on it.

-          Why are the levels of fines such odd numbers? €1,269.74 does not even become a round figure when converted to punts.

-          Will the signs be replaced or amended when Town Council merges into County Council?

-          Would I take as much notice of signs if I had not started this blog?

I thought that some humour may be appropriate on this Monday.